Sunday, February 19, 2006

Shopping Today



I went shopping today. I could have spent $700 but only ended up spending $7. WOW what a big difference between the 2 amounts...But money is tight right now...Has been for since my renter is unable to pay me. It is crazy, most people would have thrown him out, but he is having a difficult time. His wife just left him for another man. Now he doesn't get to see his 4 kids. I know, I know, sad story... everyone has them but he has been really good about keeping me in the loop. He is self employed in the construction business and it has been really slow for him right now. He says it is only a matter of time when he will be able to get me caught up. He also calls and checks in with me and if I ask him to follow up with me on a particular day, he does it. So, I have been a little laxed with him and giving him the benefit of the doubt. If it continues through the busy season, which is during the summer, I am going to have to put the house up for sale and say bye bye to him. For now, I just pray he gets a few jobs to cover expenses. If anyone needs any type of construction bidded out, let me know. It would / could help all of us.

Back to shopping....If you haven't been to Archiver's in Southport, it is worth the trip. They have a huge store. We did a make and take today too. I will try to put up what we made later.

Hope everyone's weekend is going good. I am really sorry it is about over but happy to have had it never less.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Eating Healthy Had Better Days


Had a burger and fries yesterday. I also ate a piece of chocolate and a corn dog. Not a good day for someone who is trying to be health conscious. Today is a new day so I will choose better for myself. It is difficult to eat healthy every day. Upwards and onward!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

It Lives!


I have been without my computer! It is now that I am being able to write only because I am on my brothers computer downstairs in the basement while he is fixing mine....(Now one of the real reasons I am downstairs in the basement is because we have guest of the cruelest kind...MIL brought her mentally challenged friend)...I do pretty well with family joining us, hers, mine, others...Let's face it, I consider them part of my family and without family, where would I be or anyone else for that matter...However, with having a stressful day and then coming home to find the mentally challenged person following me from room to room and asking me question after question, and with niece crying and the MIL going into a diabetic sugar low thingy...It was just to much...I believe it was to much for the brother to as he was excited that my part came in so he could go downstairs and fix my computer. I also believe it was stressful and to much for the SIL...She escaped to give niece a bath upstairs...(Not that the niece didn't need a bath...She did...But luckily, it was a great excuse.) Hopefully in a matter of a few more minutes I will be able to surf and buy once again! WHOOT!!

BTW, I am not going to be able to go to the SU Party on the 23rd....We will be celebrating my moms birthday on Thursday night the 22nd and the 23rd they are coming up to go to the school carnival thingy. My dad is going to be part of the entertainment...He will be there making balloon animals and be dressed up as a clown. (He is a clown even if he isn't dressed up!) So if you go to Carey Ridge and see a rather tall looking man making balloons, go up to him and say "You're looking good!" It will be very funny because that is his normal verbiage whenever someone calls his home. He always using that sentence.

Work totally sucked today. I had 2 people off today and I ended up doing the customer service side of the business to help out. I really dislike that particular job. I really took my anger out on the owner of the company. I told him, "I don't want you to do anything but to listen to me so here goes...blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch..." And this went on all day long. Later tonight when I was driving home, I called him and said, "I am much, much better now and thanks for letting me take out my frustration on you versus the customers". He said "At one point, I looked at Jeff and said, "I hope she is taking her frustration out on me and not the customers." However at the end of the day, he got a call from XYZ customer who bit half of his cheek off and said to him, "If it wasn't for "R" nothing would ever get done! She if FAB!" So he knew I didn't take my anger out on anyone and we laughed about it. Why would anyone doubt me? I just don't know. HA HA.

I have a new person starting Monday. I am really looking forward to having another person on board before Michael leaves us in May. Of course, I will have to train yet another person after he leaves but one down, one to go! (Michael is already a chemical engineer and went back to school to get his degree in law...Smart boy when it comes to technically aspect of the business but it takes him 45 minutes to complete a damn form...Which should take about 5-10 minutes. He has to think about what he is typing...One day I came in and he was reading the catalog and started asking me questions about what he read." I was like..."WHAT???? I appreciate the time to get to know the product but that order, which was placed will not get entered unless you do it and it has nothing to do with reading our catalog!" Of course I didn't put it in those words but you get my drift here...

Does everyone know I am a TAC demonstrator? I will be placing an order before the end of the month and anyone who wants to order with my discount you can...Let me know SOON and I mean VERY SOON!

UPDATE: MY BROTHER IS A SUPER GENIUS! I AM NOW UP AND PLAYING ON MY VERY OWN COMPUTER! THREE CHEERS FOR BROTHER!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Expensive Babysitting Job


My next task is to hold employees accountable for what they are responsible for. As I have staff going through the desk of fired employee, it has been found she didn't do what she was supposed to be doing. Now I ask, and I need some input... How can I make sure employees are doing what they are supposed to be doing without actually babysitting them?....Without looking over their shoulder all the time. The fact of the matter is, I don't have time to do that and my work load too. So I could give up some work of my own to babysit but I would become a very expensive babysitter. I am clueless as to what to do and how to handle.

FINALLY


At last, it has happened. Difficult employee is GONE. I am happy to report my next phase of management is now on it way. I have to use the thousand of dollars spent towards my training and put it to good use. Weird about her being let go. She acted like it was coming, which it was but we had to cross all out t's and dot all of our i's not to get sued. Another employee stated she had another job lined up. Good for her. I wish her next employer much luck.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Update

I was feeling better for about 2 days, however my sore throat and cough has come back to me. WHY? I am very mad about it...Anyway, I came home early from work tonight and went to bed. Got up around 8 and watched Battlestar Galitica...Me, my brother and SIL have been caught up in the story now. This is kind a weird thing for me to watch but I got sucked in. Last night I watched like 4 or 5 Project Runway shows back to back on Bravo...now that I can see myself watching Project Runway but the Battlestar stuff has me worried that I might be a bigger geek then I knew about.

News on the employee! It is official from the owner, owner states employee is done, terminated, fired. Here is an email I got from employee today when I came in...(BTW, employee has craziness in life...every single month some kind of craziness happen..in fact, on Monday, employee was late to work because car would not start, then late coming back in from lunch because another car ran into her and her hubcap exploded..on top of this, last Friday another car ran into her, which caused employee to be late coming in from lunch...) Anyway, here is the email:

Good Morning. I came in this morning to get a couple of things completed. I must go
back home to care for my son. He is immobile at the present time and needs his mothers care. (Hopefully he is still sleeping and not sitting in the couch having to pee right now)

It will take a day or so for him to get the confidence to try to attempt the crutches which is fine with the DR because this was traumatic for my son.

I understand that I need to be here and plan to try to find someone he can be with tomorrow. I suggested he stay with your wife for the day) hoping she wouldn't mind, but he wasn't very comfortable with leaving the house yet. I will call this afternoon to let you know what I have arranged.

I can be reached on my cell.
----------------------------

In the email "I suggested he stay with your wife" --- your wife equals the OWNERS WIFE!!!!! I almost died reading that one and "on top of sitting on the couch having to pee right now" I realize I am being picky here but why must we know this?? Why would you say that?? Anyway, happy to know this is ending.

Judy - I did not order a glue stick but thanks for checking!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Soap Box

I was watching t.v. and found out Justin Timberlake (Boy band N'Sync guy) got a $30,000.00 pair of sunglasses for free at the Sundance Festival. I also heard some famous people getting thousands of dollars worth of free stuff. One gal got a $18,000.00 purse. I was like, WTF? These people get paid more than they should, and on top of that, they are getting thousands of dollars worth of merchandise for free...it really ticked me off because I have been sick and it has cost me hundreds of dollars this weekend and I DON'T HAVE IT ($$) to spare. The good news, and I say, "Thank you to God", is I have enough frozen foods to last me this week for lunch and dinner." I just was livid about how unfair it seems.

Okay, I am off my soap box now...just took some cough meds with codine so I am going to go to a happy place now...see you guys later...in a much happier place...aahhh drugs can be such a good thing....

Low

High Ho
I'm Low
So it is off to the urgent care
I Go.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

What do I need to learn?


I have been taking my medication as the doctor ordered and yet, I am still NOT well. In fact, my nose is starting to run again, and my throat is a total mess and even worse and on top of that...The meds are giving me the BIG D! So I called into the doctors office today and told them. 3 hours later they called stating, "Well the meds you are on will cause you to have the big D so eat some yogurt with live cultures....And take some over the counter meds for the big D". If this doesn't work, I will need to come in for a recheck.

OMG....I don't know if I can go through another round of not sleeping tonight. I am really sick of watching Roseanne. I just want to sleep during sleeping hours like everyone else.

I am asking myself what do I need to learn from this and what is my body trying to say. The main thing which continues to come back to me is I have to start speaking my mind. Maybe getting what is on my mind out will keep this illness from attacking my throat and body. Weird? Definitely...But I think I am going to give it a try and with this said, I think I might be getting fired soon.

2:42 AM

Okay, I am about to drive myself to medical care provider. My cough and sore throat is about to put me into an insane asylum!

Everything else seems to be healing quite nicely but I have about had it with this being sick! I mean what is the use of being home sick from work if you can't do anything?? (ha ha)

Friday, January 27, 2006

What is that saying?


What is that saying, "While the cat is away, the mice will play." Is that the correct saying? I have issues with getting saying mixed up....Anyway, this is an email I received today from one of my employees:

I am writing in regard to a certain person’s work habits, because I feel it is adversely affecting the work environment here. XXXXX’s work breaks are getting outrageous. It’s not that I want you to come down hard on her/him or anything, but it’s affecting the work place. XYZ customer called for XXXXX at least three times today. Twice while XXXXX was on a close to hour-and-a-half lunch break and once while XXXXX was in the bathroom. I think XXXXX does a great job here, and she/he is very generous to us all, picking up food for us (for example). She does his/her share while he/she is here, but it’s getting to be hard with him/her gone so much. Can you please gently let XXXXX know that it would help us all if he/she wasn’t gone so often for so long? It’s not like he/she eats his/her lunch on the hour that he/she is gone to pick up his/her daughter and takes a fifteen minute break in the morning. He/She was gone almost a total of 2 ½ hours today. It’s just frustrating to me, but maybe I’m over-reacting.

I know XXXXX has some long days here, so I do recognize that his/her breaks should exceed some others. For instance, my breaks don’t need to exceed 30 min, because I’m only here maybe 7hrs a day on average. In short, he/she has a right to more or longer breaks, but two hour-and-fifteen min breaks seems like a lot. Plus, we all have to schedule our breaks around his/her two breaks.

Sorry if this is annoying you on your sick time off. I just felt I should address the issue since it is bothering me so much.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Some Better Tonight

I stopped wheezing and can breathe. That is the WOREST experience I have ever had in my entire life. I was so scared. I didn't know if I fell asleep if I would choke to death so I stayed up the entire night and watched Roseanne on the tube. All night long I watched reruns..like 10 of them because I was afraid I was going to die. I was so tired, I thought I might die so I kept my eyes open. It was horrible. I pray no one has to go through what I did with not being able to breathe. Now I am just dealing with a sore throat, congested nose, ears hurting, head hurting and hot and cold chills...I can DEAL with all of this and all is well knowing it is going to be okay as long as I can breathe!

Hope everyone is well in your world.

Quick Trip To Urgent Care Facility

Almost died tonight.

Could not breathe...Luckily brother was up and heard me and he was very sweet and took me to the urgent care facility.

It seems I have caught EVERYTHING. You name it. I got it.

I will not be going to my training classes now. I will be staying home and in bed for the next 2 days. Doctors Orders!

I sure hope the $1,500 is refundable or transferable.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sick of being sick!

I told myself I would not get sick and it snuck up on me! Darn it all...I just hate having a sinus infection!!!!! It seems I get this every year and I am just sick of it!

I am off work for the next couple days...Well kind of, I am going to training for the next 2 days. I was really excited about it until I found out there would only be 12 of us and most of the people coming were high executives from top 500 companies. What is little ole me going to be able to associate with these people? My life coach (who will be there and recommended me into going) thinks I have much to offer. He said, most of these people in these high profile jobs are in the same place regarding work issues as I am. I was dumbfounded. How could these educated people be in the same place I am....Makes me wonder about people graduating from collages who should be. I am not saying I am stupid but how can a person run a 500 company and have my same issues when I run a 6 man operation? Shouldn't these people be more educated than this? Or am I missing the boat.

Will let you know how it turns out tomorrow...Until then, it is time for me to take meds!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

January 22

Today is January 22, 2006 and this is the last day, I am going to take any disrespect from any one.

Tunnel Vision

The words “Tunnel Vision” was used in my household today so I decided to do some research.

Some people equate tunnel vision with the saying about not seeing the forest for the trees. A person with tunnel vision is so zoned-in on one thing he doesn’t see much else. His eyes are fixed on a single object. He doesn’t notice other things. He is distracted from distraction. He is isolated in isolation. He is shut off from other facts by fixation on a single fact he believes so important that all else recedes in the darkness of self-imposed selective ignorance.

As a consequence, persons with tunnel vision see only the light at the end of the tunnel, disregarding the tunnel walls that keep the massive weight of the outside world from caving in on them.

People with tunnel vision see the light and may be drawn to it without realizing that safely reaching the light depends on the integrity and strength of tunnel walls within the darkness, walls that make the journey out of darkness possible.

Are we today foolish crawling through the tunnel of life with no concern for the structure that prevents the world from caving in on us and not seeing the light around us? We see the light but do we ignore the danger lurking in darkness of the tunnel?

Perhaps we need to more closely examine the intricate structure that keeps us safe in this present dangerous hour. Or are we too focused on the way of escape for ourselves individually?

Are we ignoring our responsibility to love the children who must crawl along behind us through this dangerous tunnel, threatened by the weakness of timbers and beams and are we are refusing to repair as we scramble to deliver our individual selves from the darkness?

Are we abandoning our responsibility to make the tunnel safer for the children by ignoring our present problems? Are we getting through the tunnel on our own, while refusing to participate in the process of making the tunnel stronger for those who must follow after us?

Are we relying on our own strength and wisdom to find our way out of darkness guided only by a light in the distance as our children venture more deeply into danger we refuse to repair?

Where would we be if the walls caved in? Where will our children be if the walls cave in? Who is working to strengthen the walls? Who will replace the rotting timbers we ignore in our selfish quest for light. Who is going to strengthen the tunnel so others can make their way safely from darkness into light?

How long can we remain in this present darkness before the walls cave in on us?

Pointing to the light ahead is good. We must never lose sight of the light. Let us see the light clearly and never lose sight of its promise. However let us not forget about the darkness and what it holds for us and others.

Make the journey safe for others, not just for ourselves.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Update For Judy On So Tired Entry

I walked in at 9:30 and said "Good Morning" without giving any excuses or lies. (Of course my hair was still wet and I my eyes were puffy so I am sure they all knew what had happened.)

I thought about writing myself up and placing the warning in my personal file but I thought to myself, "Judy is right, I HAD to get some sleep and I work myself like a dog around here." So I didn't. (smiles)

Luckily, the owner knows me and knows the kind of hours I put in so other than being concerned for me, he would never condemn me for oversleeping. (Unless the office wasn't staffed...That would not have been good.) Otherwise, the owner is good to me and it is one of the reasons why I have a love/hate relationship with my job. I hate it, but you gotta love it too. *sigh*

Friday, January 20, 2006

Teen Star Gone Bad



I was scanning the news tonight when I found a story about a guy going into rehab. The name sounded very familiar to me so I googled him. WOW was I surprised! The picture of the man they had shown in the news article wasn't at all anything like I remembered. He was originally a former teen beat favorite and I had a poster of him in my bedroom when I was young. I remember then I used to have this young man's 8 track tape and it made me laugh because it reminded me of how old I am. Then I wondered what the heck happened to him? He looks like he has been beaten and been through hell and back. I guess drugs will do that to a person.

I hope all my prescription drugs don't make me look like that in a few years. I will be really mad because I spent a lot of money on cosmetics and personal hygiene products.

So Tired


Today I was late for work! I have been working late this week and found myself dead dog tired this week...I didn't wake up until 1/2 hour after I was supposed to be at work! I didn't hear my alarm and I didn't hear the two calls my phone received before 8 a.m. When I woke up it was completely day light. I was freaked! I just can't wait for the weekend. I am hoping I will get some rest and relaxation! Here is hoping!!!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

One Problem



One of the issues with firing employee is that I have to have a replacement. I haven't found the right person yet. Certainly not the red neck girl. I have been told to fire and hire. GET ER DONE! I am working on it!!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Interview, Job Offer and Firing


The redneck interviewed with the owner and he said, "I don't think she is a good fit". "Why?" I asked and he told me. His thoughts were the same as my thoughts...scarey.

Speaking of interviews...I had a job offer today. Fell from the sky. I am not looking but it was nice to hear. I always tell the owner too when it happens...Which is about 2 times a year. I have to keep his memory sharp and open to the possibility that others want me...Just in case he forgets what he has in me. (Lots of laughs!)

I have to fire another employee by end of February. I was told to get it done. This person is not working out. Owner wants this person terminated. I have to do it and I know it isn't going to be pretty. I have to call the police department to have them around the area the day I do it. I just can't wait.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Revenge is SWEEEEETTT!!


I am a very bad girl.

First I should explain about the owner of my company. He is a very busy man.

Today he overstepped a decision I had made and needless to say, I was pissed. So I am taking revenge.

I interviewed a red neck girl who was referred to me. This red neck girl was nice enough but she "ain't got no problems other than her ex stalking her, destroying her home, cutting phone lines and just plain won't leave her be". Also, she had to quit her last job because he was causing troubles for her there. She spoke about her ex the entire time she was in my office. She has no hobbies or anything to speak of...Only her ex and she wants this job so she can run from him so he can't find her and their 2 children. Oh, and she would have to be off one day this month because she is taking him to court and "hopefully the law will put him away for good this time". Okay, can you say excess baggage?

There is no way I would hire this girl...But...Since she was referred to me by someone the owner knows...And I am pissed...I passed her to the owner for consideration and an interview. When I called her today she literally screamed "SWEEEEETTT!!!" on the phone when I asked her to come in on Monday for a second interview.

I am so bad....And I sure hope Karma doesn't bite me on this one....

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

It is Judy's fault

Thanks to Judy I have some lovely new stamps coming in from Stampin Up! I need more stamps like Stephanie needs paper...*ha ha*...Okay, so I need to make something with the stamp set(s) which I bought. Hum. Think, Think, Think. I think I got it! I think I will send Judy a card that say's "Thanks Judy for feeding my addiction!" I just love friends who care.

(Smiles Judy and Stephanie!)

PRAYER ANSWERED!

Now I would not call myself "religious" but I would 100% say I am a spiritual person...My life coach yesterday told me to start looking for God in what I do. He wasn't aware that I was looking for this paper..He just wanted me to concentrate on the good, which happens in my life..Today was a HELL DAY! It seems any time I am off, even for a few short hours...Work falls apart. Now, I am not just saying this to pat myself on the back because owner actually said it today too...And it is true. I guess I am the glue which holds this company together...Anyway, back to my story...I was quite upset because I can certainly tell everyone that I didn't see him much of God's hands in anything at all today. But tonight...MY PRAYER HAS BEEN ANSWERED! I found that paperwork I have been so desperately been looking for. I jumped up and down and shouted "God has shown himself to me!"

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

HELP!


I desperately need prayers. I have lost some extremely important papers and I have to find them quickly!!!!!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

I am hiding my head under the sink

Went to the knitting store and teacher got me back where I needed to be. So I was off and running like a pro with my scarf. My next count I had 1 to many, the next count I had 2 to many. I started to sweat so I decided to see if I could fix. My next count I had 4 to many. So I thought keep going see if you can fix it. Now I have 6 or more to many...I think I will go put my head under the kitchen sink and hide for awhile.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Upsetting News


1. I deleted a large file I had created with part numbers for a large customer. This was a file I used personally almost every day, but now I have to start back to square one and rebuild the Access file.

2. One of my employees who has recently been written up for attendance had her boyfriend call her in sick today. I am not saying she wasn't sick, it is the fact that she had her boyfriend call her in after she was already on probation. I don't know if this means I have to fire her or not. I am very upset about having to fire her. What about the FMLA? I am waiting to hear about the regulations I must follow.

3. The scarf I was knitting looks like crap. I did something to the stitches and I don't know how to fix it. I am at a loss as to what to do with the scarf at this point. I am extremely depressed.

4. I have to work on a Saturday. I know, millions of people do but it really sucks to put in over 40 hours this week and have to go in. Did I mention I don't get paid to work extra?

That is it for now. I am tired of typing all the bad. I have lots of good things which happened today but I am choosing to post only the negative. Bah Hum Bug...

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I would have been mad at me

The owner of the company was looking and looking and looking....no kidding...for some paperwork on a client, which he swore he placed on my desk. Well, I had NONE of that! I actually cleaned my desk up (first time in about a year) and I was like, "No, I don't think so..." (Note: I didn't really say this but it was in my head swimming around.) So we looked on everyone's desk. We looked in his office. We looked in all the filing cabinets but no luck. I was just sure we would have found it amongst his things...low and behold....I had them on top of my desk the entire time. I would have been so mad at me if I were him and he didn't seem mad at all...I went in and said, "I am so sorry. I had the paperwork the entire time. I am so very sorry." He forgave me and that was that.

Note to self: Remember not to be so hard on the dear old man the next time he does something which chaps my ass.

On another note...I went to my first knitting class tonight. It was a bit stressful for me since I am an A type individual who is extremely hard on anything creative I do....but I have all week to practice and the teacher told me if I had any problems to come in and someone would help me. I told her I would hold her to that! Will post pictures as I go later!!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Micro Management

I came in early today to get a heads start at work. Guess what I came into? The owner of the company re-organized my desk! Why? Why? I get SO ANGRY at him for doing things like this. He is such a micromanager and it drives me to want to drink...Something more than coke! If you were to see his office you would think, why in the world would he be doing this little task and not bother with his own! I have a few ideas...His world is so crazy and life such a mess that he doesn't want to take the time to do his own work. So he goes through each of our desk here at the office so that he doesn't have to do his own. Maybe he doesn't know where to began with his own...I don't know. I know, however that it pisses me off to come in to have to re-organize my own work before I can even began to start. It takes so much time and energy.

I am so happy to be back to work today. Can't you tell?

Monday, January 02, 2006

Long Weekend Over


Not much to say about having to go back to work...Other than I am glad I have a job to go to. I guess I need to be happy that I have a job to go to even though it stinks.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Time For Changes

This year I am planning on changing one thing a month. My goal is to do SOMETHING different every month. I am going to do something creative to nurish my soul. I am going to stop a negative thought in my head before it gets out of control. I am going to clean out my desk at work. (This might freak out the owner..ha ha) I think if at the end of 2006, I can look back and see the changes I made, I will feel better about how I spent my time here on earth. Also, what a great feeling to know I had accomplished xy and z this past year.

Here is to us! My wish for everyone is happiness, peace and health!

Saturday, December 31, 2005

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Craft for the New Year


I have always wanted to learn how to knit. My mother taught herself. My aunts and cousins knitted but I never learned. My mother tried to teach me and but nothing ever come of the dreaded chain. I didn't have the patience to go any further. I hope I have learned patience and will learn much more since I am paying someone to teach me because today, I drove myself down to a place called Stitches & Scones. This business is no more than 5 minutes away from my house and I gave them my $45 to learn the basics. My first official lesson is on Thursday. I hope I get to knit a scarf! I have always wanted to knit a scarf! Here is wishing I have a nice new scarf to wear before the heat over takes the earth in my little piece of the world. Wish me luck!

Friday, December 30, 2005

When I Grow Up


I just came to realize this morning (at almost 40 years old) what I want to be when I grow up. (It is about time don't you think??) Anyway, I want to be a Carmel Housewife. I am sure every state has what we call an area where there are "Carmel Housewives"...It is a woman who lives in luxury and is allowed to do whatever she pleases. She can sleep all day, while the maid cleans up the house. She can shop all day, while her husband earns the dough. She can go get a manicure, pedicure, hair done, massage or whatever she feels like whenever she wants to. (Wait, that last one does sound like me...) Anyway, after taking today off and having to take calls from work anyway, I decided my goal is to become a Carmel Housewife. I don't care that others will make fun of me for being one. I can handle the jokes and the criticism because I am a strong woman and I could turn the other cheek (while my facial was being completed). I just want to do what I want to do without having to answer to anyone except myself and of course "big daddy". (big daddy = GOD) I would even start becoming more of a leader in my community...I have it in me to do so. I just can't find the time to do it all. I know there are those who seem to find the time, (damn them) but it is difficult for me...(As I do have to have time for all those massages and facials...ha!)

The point is I have finally found a purpose and I am sure my high school guidance councilor would finally be happy that I have found something to aspire to be...So when I grow up, I want to be a Carmel Housewife. How about you?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Wrong Butt Being Kissed


The cleaning crew in my building is now bowing to me. (LITTERALLY BOWING!) I had a Korean person I knew ask me if my building would be interested in quoting out its cleaning? I asked the building manager and he said yes, so I go the 2 parties hooked up. This crew got the job. Now after a few weeks of cleaning, people who work in my building are complaining about the job they are doing. There is a communication problem with the Korean workers and the military (my building is 98% US government military personal). I have also spoken to the building manager regarding our bathrooms being a mess and he has told me he had left word for the crew but nothing got resolved. Last Friday, the owner of my company saw one of the cleaning crew managers and told him we had issues...And that I would have a talk with him next week. WHY ME? Do I NOT HAVE ENOUGH issues to deal with?? I told the owner of my company that it is not my responsibility to have to deal with the cleaning people. I am NOT in charge of the building...Why do I have to speak with them?? He didn't see it this way...So,today I had one of the Korean owners come in and asked me not to be mad at him and he bowed. I was like "what?" I am not mad at anyone. Then I had the manager of the cleaning crew (Korean also) come in and bow at me. Okay, now I have to say, I like men bowing at my feet... but not for this reason....NEXT, I have a Korean woman call me and on and on she went how sorry and how thankful...I wanted to say, "You are kissing the wrong butt here!" Guess what, the cleaning crew actually came in and wouldn't look at me. Normally, they wave and say hello. Nothing today. So it is one extreme to the next. Bowing or Ignoring...Somedays you just can't win.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Memory Found

Okay, said a few prayers while I was looking for my memory and it was found! Thank you angels!



I went to spend one of my gift certificates I got this year and man was Barnes & Noble packed! It was like going shopping the day of Christmas. I thought to myself if one more person runs into me or cuts my path off I might just have to leave without purchasing anything. That would be such a same! I would have had to go out another day to shop. Anyway, I picked up 2 items. One was Wisdom Cards, which I am looking forward to using and the other was The Joy of Conflict Resolution. I don't know why I picked it up. It isn't like I haven't read these types of books before but I figured maybe it would speak to me and maybe something new could be developed and learned. Can't hurt! I have another conflict to deal with tomorrow. I just can't wait to get back to work tomorrow....

Lost Memory

I can not find anywhere the memory stick with all our Christmas day pictures. I just can not find it! I found an old memory stick, which I was looking for months ago which containes nothing of value...but no where is the one I want. Wish me luck!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

My Life Quiz

I saw this for an ad for American Express. I liked it and thought it would be fun to answer.

Childhood Ambition: To be a mother
Fondest Memory: Holding my niece
Soundtrack: Corrina, Corrina
Retreat: Nashville, IN (Friends house)
Wildest Dream: Dance and Sing, Getting married, Having child
Proudest Moment: Not sure
Biggest Challenge: Recovering from depression
Alarm Clock: Old cell phone
Perfect Day: Playing with my niece
First Job: Babysitting, KMart
Indulgence: Coca-Cola
Last Purchase: Dora The Explorer (To many really to count)
Favorite Music: Pop-Opera (Charlotte Church and Josh Groban)
Favorite Movie: Many, Enjoy Pieces of April, About a boy, Napoleon dynamite
Inspiration: Comes from within
My Life: Pretty good
My Card: Amazon Visa

Happy Day Off With Pay

I used to get upset and depressed over any holiday (not just the blues like I had yesterday). One year something changed for me as one of my best friends said, "it is going to be a great day if only because we are off with pay!" That sentence was a turning point for me.

Instead of thinking how I was missing out with all the family "things", which the media tells us was so wonderful. I started using this as my way to cope. On Thanksgiving, it didn't matter if I didn't have anywhere to go. It didn't matter if I ate taco salad for my dinner. What made it a great day was because I was getting paid for it.

So, the morale to this is chose a different path and try to see things differently as it might change the outcome.

With this said, "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy Day Off With Pay!"

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Breakdown

I am having a Christmas breakdown. The thought of all the money I spent. Also I have been out of my medication for a couple days. It is cold and wet here. It is suppose to snow, rain or sleet. No one can say for sure. This causes anxiety...what if I get stuck in the house and can't get out? My computer cord is not working..I don't know what the problem is so anytime, my laptop is going to go because it is working off of the battery. This means I could be without contact with the world. AAHH! Oh well, no one is sick in my family so things could be worse I suppose...well, we all know someone worse off than we are so I am trying to pull myself up and out of my funk. But...sometimes sleeping the day away is good therapy for me...so I say, "Good night."

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Party To Go To

Tonight is my Christmas Party for work. I have to go since I planned the darn thing.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Make A Bag


Started to do some creative gift wrapping this week. I made this bag out of a small lunch like sack bag. Kind a cute but I probabley will not use it. I like wrapping presents versus using bags but thought it might be fun to dress up some plan bags. I did another bag where I put white balls all over the bag. It turned out really cute too but it is in my car with a gift in it already. I was to meet a friend for lunch this week but she canned me until next week. I just didn't bring it back in to take a picture of it. Maybe I will remember to do it this weekend.

Turn Around? It's A Matter Of Time...

Hard to believe...Employee has done a 180 degree turn. Now, employee still comes in every day with some kind of illness, but employee is on time and is working! Now, how long employee can continue to go without missing a day I can't say. Employee today did instant message me to say, "I am feeling sick, I would like to go lay down in my car for a few minutes." My reply, "Clock out while you are gone." Employee wasn't gone 10 minutes. (I think the clock out must have done it for her). Employee must have really started felling better after employee left an hour later, employee called me from the mall where employee was shopping. Hum...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Reprimanding Employee

I had to reprimand an employee today for her always being absent. I had a pretty rough day. I had to keep reminding her it was "The Policy". I told her several times, the policy states this...blah blah blah. I am sure I haven't heard the last of this conversation as she was extremely mad and said she disagreed with the warning because of her reasons why she had to be absent so much.

I think if she continues to bug me, (I can't wait until tomorrow.) I will have to direct her to the owner of the company, who had to bite tongue today. Owner wanted to blast her and fire her but kept it under control. I believe she got off lucky having to deal with me. She might not be lucky if she continues with her tirade and has to deal with the owner.

I am not going to stand for her to throw things and be disrespectful. I will have to reprimand her again. I am sure it is just a matter of time....and I am a very forgiving, let's let it slide kind a girl so can you imagine what it was that will push me over the edge to be this way?

Sunday, November 27, 2005

What is a girl to do?

UPDATE: I got half way to the party and decided "Why are you doing this to yourself?" I didn't feel good so I turned my car around and called my mom and then my brother to let them both know I wasn't coming. I came home and went to bed. I slept until 5 minutes prior to them coming home. I am feeling a little better now. Head is not pounding as it was but still a little sore.


Going to a family reunion today. I can't wait for all the loud noise and smoke filled room. I got a splitting headache and need to stay at home. Do I forgo the festive activities and lay in bed? I just don't like to commit and then back out. What is a girl to do?

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Zen 2 Remember


Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Turkey Day



This is my brother wearing Olivia glasses, which my niece made and a santa hat, which is to small. Silly man.

Pretty good day today. Well, any day is a good day if it is a day off with pay. You gotta love that.

Family came to the house. It was a nice time. No one over stayed their welcome so that was even better.

My mom went all out, like she normally does, prepairing food. Thanks to her, we had quite a spread. Thanks Mom!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Communication Breakdown

Meeting with coach went pretty well today. It always goes pretty well. I can open up to him and he can use what I say against myself later in the conversation.

I have realized I have a communication breakdown with many people in my life. Not just people I know. Strangers who I have never met too.

So I have to fix me. I am broken. (Isn't everyone?) I need to be glued back together. It might take some extra duper super glue but I am willing to fix me. I just want to be fixed quickly.

I realize it has taken me 39 years to get this way, but does it need to take another 39 to fix me? I sure hope not. If memory serves me, my attention span will wave and I will be onto the next step in my life in a short time. I just remember, it seems this is a pattern....having a short attention span....Oh No, another issue to have to fix.

Maybe I should just continue to ignore it and try to forget everything. Deal with it next time I am on earth.

Calgone take me away...far far away...some place with padded walls might be nice.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Another Darn Candle

I got my anniversary gift!

I do admit, or rather a friend informed me, that employers do not give gifts to employees each year just for sticking around another year.

Well, I say to that....La De Da!

I know she is right but darn it...I wanted attention...I got it alright...With yet another candle. I got 2 huge ones from my employers for my birthday. One of which just sits in my office unopened.

Have I ever told anyone that I don't burn candles...Or I don't heat them using a burner? I have allergies. So I normally stick them on a shelf. I thought I everyone knew that...

I am seriously thinking about regifting them but the guilt comes over me in huge waves. I have thought about taking them to Goodwill but then the guilt sets in again. I am not even Catholic. Where does all this guilt come from?

I could blame my mother...But it wasn't from her. (I guess I could blame her anyway.)

Hum, I will have to give this some thought. Surely I can find someone to blame (other than myself.)

Linoleum Block Printing

Here is my block carving creation. The end result didn't turn out so well but I am showing them to my family and friends anyway. I really, really enjoyed the process of carving the block so this...I will continue and hopefully, the end process will get better and better. I do have to admit, I enjoy making the carvings much more than just stamping other people's stamps. I also haven't really created anything I was really excited about using rubber stamps. Maybe, just maybe I have found what I really like to do craft wise.




Okay, so let me explain what is what in the pictures. The white dove with the blue background would be the end result. The pictures were taken with a digital camera and not scanned thus the bad lighting....The beige block with the black and some white ink is the actual linoleum block, which I carved.

Those of you who do not know what to get me for a gift, a gift certificate to Prizm Art Supply Store would be a great gift. Just a suggestion...

I am stuck today

Do you know how old people get when they get old? You know what I am saying. Stuck in their ways and don't want to change their habits. Well, I experienced being old today. Not that I am old, just experienced the being stuck part.

My coach called me and wants to change my meeting with him to tomorrow. Can I say how upsetting that was to hear? I was so looking forward to leaving that hour and a half early to go have work therapy! On top of that, I have some complaining to do about one of my employees who is driving me to want to drink! (LOL!)

So I am now stuck. Stuck. Stuck without being able to leave early. Stuck with all my negative feelings. Stuck about being stuck.

I am taking big breaths and breathing in white light...Positive Light. I let go and grap hold of my employees neck...and...just kidding there...

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Block Carving

I finished my first (well technically second) block carving today. This doesn't really count last week either...Although I guess it should. So three carvings I have done. Anyway, I only rammed the sharp cutting tool in my skin once so I thought it was a pretty good go. The first time I block carved was in jr high school...7th grade I think...I really enjoyed carving (the block, not my finger). I think I will post a picture of my design in a few days. I need to get some white paint or different type of paper first. I am pretty uptight about my work, any creative thing I do I get uptight about. Silly. But that is who I am.

Hum, what else did I do today? Well, I did a load of laundry and took a shower. That was about it. It was a great day for a little R and R. The family went north to have a family get together and although I was invited, and appreciated the invitation, I thought I would enjoy the day to myself.

I have high hopes for myself next week! I plan to attack my closet. I need to hang up clothes and tidy my room. I need to throw out my old clothes, which I will never wear so I can have room for the ones I do wear. It is a small closet and space is not infinti and beyond. It is tight quarters in my little room but I love it. It is my room and my little part of heaven.

I hope to have a great week. I only have to work 3 days and 2 of those days I am leaving at 4 pm. On Monday I have my meeting with my coach and on Tuesday I have a facial scheduled. Not a pampering facial. The kind where the top layer of your skin is scrapped off. Kinda like a bandaid coming off a wound when you where little and there was hair underneath stuck to the gooey part. Ouch!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Anniversary Morning Call

Received a call from the owner this morning on my cell phone. "Today is your anniversary is it not?" "Happy Anniversay". Thanks. "There is also a call on the pager, he didn't leave a phone number, do you want to handle the service call?"

Friday, November 18, 2005

Anniversary Kick

I am still on the work anniversay kick. I haven't even received a freaking card! It isn't like I didn't tell the owner SEVERAL times that my anniversay day was coming up...he knew...and yet, he is OUT OF TOWN and I didn't get a present! Did I mention that I want a present?? I want a PRESENT! My inner child is kicking and screaming. I want a damn present! I don't want a cake. I don't want just a card. I want a present! I want a present! I want a present! Phew! All this kicking and screaming, hitting the floor with my hands and feet is starting to hurt a bit! Also, in our last meeting I asked if I should plan a party for ME. He laughed a bit, kinda shook his head yes like he was going to take care of it! I am being a spolied little brat here I know...but I want a present. Nothing big like a new Mercedes or that cute little $284,000.00 condo I just looked at...how about some cash? $500.00 bonus would be nice.

Well, not all is lost YET. Even though my anniversay day would be over, he does return on Sunday from his trip and I know I will see him this week.

I gotta tell you though, if I don't get a present, I am going to be mad. I might have to stomp my feet and walk a little louder.

(smiles!)

Friday, November 11, 2005

6 year anniversary

No one said anything to me about my anniversay date. Just because you are the boss shouldn't mean the owner of the company shouldn't say anything...right??? Well, unless your anniversay date is actually on November 19th....




Today is my 6 year anniversary with my company. WOW! It feels like 600 years not 6 years! This company has had some changes...good, bad and ugly changes. We are a manufacturers rep for some larger and smaller manufacturing plants. One of our larger lines was bought out by a large "CORPORATE AMERICA AT ITS FINEST" corporation. It has been the worst time of my life! I have never worked with so many difficult people. It makes me sick to think what this larger company once was and where it is now. Makes my stomach ache. I can't even believe how so many people can be put into such high paying jobs. I truly believe CORPORATE AMERICA WILL PUT AMERICA OUT OF BUSINESS! I see it every day with items I quote out. Product coming in from other countries are taking our business and what does CORPORATE AMERICA do, they continue to raise their prices. Who gets the profits, the big heads sitting in those high paying jobs. I would love to throw up on some well polished shoes!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Stupid is as stupid does


I made some stupid mistakes this morning at work. I didn't get to drink my normal breakfast drink which is full of vitamins. I was starving all morning because I ran out and didn't get to the grocery to get more. Come to think of it, I didn't go today either so I will have to go without tomorrow unless I get up earlier than usual and get some. UGH! It is amazing how different you feel when you get up and put something into your body. I usually drink a SlimFast or the Kroger brand mineral and vitamin chocolate drink. It is easy to carry. It is healthy and it taste pretty good. The best part is I am not hungry and don't even think about food until lunch time. The days when I don't drink I am famished at 9:30. Then I make stupid mistakes and every call I receive erks me. I need a drink!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Niece Is Shocked



Everyone in my house (See post "Ain't we pretty")has put these glasses and teeth on and we have taken our picture. My niece never wanted to put them on even when on occasion, we practically begged her. Finally on her own last evening, she wanted to wear the glasses and teeth and allowed us to take a picture. PRICELESS! That evening when I uploaded the pictures to the Myth box, she got to see herself large and full screen on the TV screen. I almost wet my pants at her look of disgust. I don't think I have ever seen that look come across her face. I hope I don't get to again because I don't know if the next time will have the same outcome, which was laughter.

Four - Four Year Olds


I put together a little party for my niece and there were only four children total. We played games and did several crafts. Sister-in-law helped with a big craft and I was thankful for her doing that! I don't know how the time space would have been filled AND with only 2 hours for the party, I thought I had planned out time pretty well. Not for these children! We were completely finished with all planned in an hour and a half and that is with taking a break. Not that free play is a bad thing, I just wondered how many games and crafts it really would have taken to fill 2 hours. Thank goodness for the moms who helped because I would have lost the little amount of structure there was if it hadn't been for their help....AND I want to do this again...I guess happy (prescription) drugs are a good thing.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Meeting with Coach today

I went to see my mentor or life coach or whatever you want to call it today. I am working on making some positive changes but when will I see those changes? It has been 2 weeks but it seems life forever. Baby steps, baby steps. I want giant steps! I must keep focused. I have been doing the homework given to me. I actually obsessive about what is told to me but I need to put the theory into practice and I am having a difficult time doing it! "Falling on the sword" and "playing dumb" isn't something, which comes easy for me. Willing to want it is one thing. It has cost several thousands of dollars for me to speak to this man and I want to see results and I want to see them now. I just hope I can make the changes I so desperate need and want and continue to be the person I need to be in my role at work. I don't want to disappointment myself.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

More Pumpkin Carving Pictures



Pumpkin Carving



This was our first pumpkin carving. I carved the cat and my brother Paul carved the skull. It was really fun and I hope we get a chance to get this every year. I was really surprised at how easy it was to do. Next year, I am going to try something more difficult.

Size 12 Freak




I am looking online for a cute pair of shoes. In my size, there seems to be numerous amounts of freak shoes. Now, I am not saying only freaks wear these, but why then does the heading of the ads of these shoes state this information? I just wanted a cute pair of "no heeled" mary janes to wear this winter. What I found opened my eyes to the extreme.

My Favorite Person


My favorite child in the entire world is sick. She has been feeling a little ill for the last few days. Last night she had a 103 degree temp and just rested on the couch. It hurts me so when she isn't well. When the one you love is sick and there isn't anything you can do for them it hurts.

Costume party has been post-phoned until next Saturday.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Calm and Rational?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

The Paradox

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember to say "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Dr. Bob Moorehead is former pastor of Seattle's Overlake Christian Church. He retired in 1998 after 29 years in that post. The essay appeared in 'Words Aptly Spoken,' Dr. Moorehead's 1995 collection of prayers, homilies, and monologues used in his sermons and radio broadcasts.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Ain't We's Pretty?




My brother brought home some funny glasses and teeth. I haven't laughed so hard in awhile. These glasses and teeth completely and totally changes your appearance. It is unbelievable how different you really look with and without wearing them! I recommend anyone to try a different look and then take pictures of yourself. It is a fun experience and will make generations to come wonder what the hell happened to us.

Pumpkin Patch



Went to the pumpkin patch today with sister-in-law, her mother, her brother, my brother and my niece. It was fun except for the attack of the bee's. One of them ended up in our car and half way home it stung for the last time...Unfortunately it claimed it last victory on my 4 year old niece's face. It broke my heart to see big tears run down her face.