The Itchy and Scratchy Show

My head has been itchy for the last 2 days. I scratch and scratch like a cat would a new post. Today as I was sitting at my desk, I thought to myself, “What if I have lice?” I do live with a 5 year old who goes to school all day. They say the cleanest people have lice. Well, I guess I better get it checked out. I can’t stand going through another day of itching. I can’t believe what I asked the owner of the company to do next…”Please come and look at my hair to see if I have lice.” He came out of his office and looked and then said, “NO, you don’t have lice, why would you think you would have lice? You have dry skin and you have scratched your head raw.” I have never had dry skin on my head before. This is something new to me…..So, I say, “I am not going to be able to go all day scratching my head. I must go to a medical clinic.” He, knowing not to disagree with me says “Go”. As I am driving, I then think, maybe my hair dresser would know what to do. It would save me my co pay. So I turned around and went to see her. She looked and said, “You have dry skin!” and I purchased some special oil from her. I went to my car and greased my hair around the area, which was itchy and what do you know! The itching has almost stopped! It is 98% better!!! The only problem is it looks like either I haven't washed the top of my skull for awhile, or my hair is wet....I went ahead and put my hair up in a little pony so it does look much better...So my next question would be, and I will not judge anyone on this who answers….”What would lice feel like if I had it?”