PRAYER ANSWERED!

Now I would not call myself "religious" but I would 100% say I am a spiritual person...My life coach yesterday told me to start looking for God in what I do. He wasn't aware that I was looking for this paper..He just wanted me to concentrate on the good, which happens in my life..Today was a HELL DAY! It seems any time I am off, even for a few short hours...Work falls apart. Now, I am not just saying this to pat myself on the back because owner actually said it today too...And it is true. I guess I am the glue which holds this company together...Anyway, back to my story...I was quite upset because I can certainly tell everyone that I didn't see him much of God's hands in anything at all today. But tonight...MY PRAYER HAS BEEN ANSWERED! I found that paperwork I have been so desperately been looking for. I jumped up and down and shouted "God has shown himself to me!"

HELP!

I desperately need prayers. I have lost some extremely important papers and I have to find them quickly!!!!!

I am hiding my head under the sink

Went to the knitting store and teacher got me back where I needed to be. So I was off and running like a pro with my scarf. My next count I had 1 to many, the next count I had 2 to many. I started to sweat so I decided to see if I could fix. My next count I had 4 to many. So I thought keep going see if you can fix it. Now I have 6 or more to many...I think I will go put my head under the kitchen sink and hide for awhile.

Upsetting News

1. I deleted a large file I had created with part numbers for a large customer. This was a file I used personally almost every day, but now I have to start back to square one and rebuild the Access file.

2. One of my employees who has recently been written up for attendance had her boyfriend call her in sick today. I am not saying she wasn't sick, it is the fact that she had her boyfriend call her in after she was already on probation. I don't know if this means I have to fire her or not. I am very upset about having to fire her. What about the FMLA? I am waiting to hear about the regulations I must follow.

3. The scarf I was knitting looks like crap. I did something to the stitches and I don't know how to fix it. I am at a loss as to what to do with the scarf at this point. I am extremely depressed.

4. I have to work on a Saturday. I know, millions of people do but it really sucks to put in over 40 hours this week and have to go in. Did I mention I don't get paid to work extra?

That is it for now. I am tired of typing all the bad. I have lots of good things which happened today but I am choosing to post only the negative. Bah Hum Bug...

I would have been mad at me

The owner of the company was looking and looking and looking....no kidding...for some paperwork on a client, which he swore he placed on my desk. Well, I had NONE of that! I actually cleaned my desk up (first time in about a year) and I was like, "No, I don't think so..." (Note: I didn't really say this but it was in my head swimming around.) So we looked on everyone's desk. We looked in his office. We looked in all the filing cabinets but no luck. I was just sure we would have found it amongst his things...low and behold....I had them on top of my desk the entire time. I would have been so mad at me if I were him and he didn't seem mad at all...I went in and said, "I am so sorry. I had the paperwork the entire time. I am so very sorry." He forgave me and that was that.

Note to self: Remember not to be so hard on the dear old man the next time he does something which chaps my ass.

On another note...I went to my first knitting class tonight. It was a bit stressful for me since I am an A type individual who is extremely hard on anything creative I do....but I have all week to practice and the teacher told me if I had any problems to come in and someone would help me. I told her I would hold her to that! Will post pictures as I go later!!

Micro Management

I came in early today to get a heads start at work. Guess what I came into? The owner of the company re-organized my desk! Why? Why? I get SO ANGRY at him for doing things like this. He is such a micromanager and it drives me to want to drink...Something more than coke! If you were to see his office you would think, why in the world would he be doing this little task and not bother with his own! I have a few ideas...His world is so crazy and life such a mess that he doesn't want to take the time to do his own work. So he goes through each of our desk here at the office so that he doesn't have to do his own. Maybe he doesn't know where to began with his own...I don't know. I know, however that it pisses me off to come in to have to re-organize my own work before I can even began to start. It takes so much time and energy.

I am so happy to be back to work today. Can't you tell?

Long Weekend Over

Not much to say about having to go back to work...Other than I am glad I have a job to go to. I guess I need to be happy that I have a job to go to even though it stinks.

Time For Changes

This year I am planning on changing one thing a month. My goal is to do SOMETHING different every month. I am going to do something creative to nurish my soul. I am going to stop a negative thought in my head before it gets out of control. I am going to clean out my desk at work. (This might freak out the owner..ha ha) I think if at the end of 2006, I can look back and see the changes I made, I will feel better about how I spent my time here on earth. Also, what a great feeling to know I had accomplished xy and z this past year.

Here is to us! My wish for everyone is happiness, peace and health!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Craft for the New Year

I have always wanted to learn how to knit. My mother taught herself. My aunts and cousins knitted but I never learned. My mother tried to teach me and but nothing ever come of the dreaded chain. I didn't have the patience to go any further. I hope I have learned patience and will learn much more since I am paying someone to teach me because today, I drove myself down to a place called Stitches & Scones. This business is no more than 5 minutes away from my house and I gave them my $45 to learn the basics. My first official lesson is on Thursday. I hope I get to knit a scarf! I have always wanted to knit a scarf! Here is wishing I have a nice new scarf to wear before the heat over takes the earth in my little piece of the world. Wish me luck!

When I Grow Up

I just came to realize this morning (at almost 40 years old) what I want to be when I grow up. (It is about time don't you think??) Anyway, I want to be a Carmel Housewife. I am sure every state has what we call an area where there are "Carmel Housewives"...It is a woman who lives in luxury and is allowed to do whatever she pleases. She can sleep all day, while the maid cleans up the house. She can shop all day, while her husband earns the dough. She can go get a manicure, pedicure, hair done, massage or whatever she feels like whenever she wants to. (Wait, that last one does sound like me...) Anyway, after taking today off and having to take calls from work anyway, I decided my goal is to become a Carmel Housewife. I don't care that others will make fun of me for being one. I can handle the jokes and the criticism because I am a strong woman and I could turn the other cheek (while my facial was being completed). I just want to do what I want to do without having to answer to anyone except myself and of course "big daddy". (big daddy = GOD) I would even start becoming more of a leader in my community...I have it in me to do so. I just can't find the time to do it all. I know there are those who seem to find the time, (damn them) but it is difficult for me...(As I do have to have time for all those massages and facials...ha!)

The point is I have finally found a purpose and I am sure my high school guidance councilor would finally be happy that I have found something to aspire to be...So when I grow up, I want to be a Carmel Housewife. How about you?

Wrong Butt Being Kissed

The cleaning crew in my building is now bowing to me. (LITTERALLY BOWING!) I had a Korean person I knew ask me if my building would be interested in quoting out its cleaning? I asked the building manager and he said yes, so I go the 2 parties hooked up. This crew got the job. Now after a few weeks of cleaning, people who work in my building are complaining about the job they are doing. There is a communication problem with the Korean workers and the military (my building is 98% US government military personal). I have also spoken to the building manager regarding our bathrooms being a mess and he has told me he had left word for the crew but nothing got resolved. Last Friday, the owner of my company saw one of the cleaning crew managers and told him we had issues...And that I would have a talk with him next week. WHY ME? Do I NOT HAVE ENOUGH issues to deal with?? I told the owner of my company that it is not my responsibility to have to deal with the cleaning people. I am NOT in charge of the building...Why do I have to speak with them?? He didn't see it this way...So,today I had one of the Korean owners come in and asked me not to be mad at him and he bowed. I was like "what?" I am not mad at anyone. Then I had the manager of the cleaning crew (Korean also) come in and bow at me. Okay, now I have to say, I like men bowing at my feet... but not for this reason....NEXT, I have a Korean woman call me and on and on she went how sorry and how thankful...I wanted to say, "You are kissing the wrong butt here!" Guess what, the cleaning crew actually came in and wouldn't look at me. Normally, they wave and say hello. Nothing today. So it is one extreme to the next. Bowing or Ignoring...Somedays you just can't win.

Memory Found

Okay, said a few prayers while I was looking for my memory and it was found! Thank you angels!



I went to spend one of my gift certificates I got this year and man was Barnes & Noble packed! It was like going shopping the day of Christmas. I thought to myself if one more person runs into me or cuts my path off I might just have to leave without purchasing anything. That would be such a same! I would have had to go out another day to shop. Anyway, I picked up 2 items. One was Wisdom Cards, which I am looking forward to using and the other was The Joy of Conflict Resolution. I don't know why I picked it up. It isn't like I haven't read these types of books before but I figured maybe it would speak to me and maybe something new could be developed and learned. Can't hurt! I have another conflict to deal with tomorrow. I just can't wait to get back to work tomorrow....

Lost Memory

I can not find anywhere the memory stick with all our Christmas day pictures. I just can not find it! I found an old memory stick, which I was looking for months ago which containes nothing of value...but no where is the one I want. Wish me luck!

My Life Quiz

I saw this for an ad for American Express. I liked it and thought it would be fun to answer.

Childhood Ambition: To be a mother
Fondest Memory: Holding my niece
Soundtrack: Corrina, Corrina
Retreat: Nashville, IN (Friends house)
Wildest Dream: Dance and Sing, Getting married, Having child
Proudest Moment: Not sure
Biggest Challenge: Recovering from depression
Alarm Clock: Old cell phone
Perfect Day: Playing with my niece
First Job: Babysitting, KMart
Indulgence: Coca-Cola
Last Purchase: Dora The Explorer (To many really to count)
Favorite Music: Pop-Opera (Charlotte Church and Josh Groban)
Favorite Movie: Many, Enjoy Pieces of April, About a boy, Napoleon dynamite
Inspiration: Comes from within
My Life: Pretty good
My Card: Amazon Visa

Happy Day Off With Pay

I used to get upset and depressed over any holiday (not just the blues like I had yesterday). One year something changed for me as one of my best friends said, "it is going to be a great day if only because we are off with pay!" That sentence was a turning point for me.

Instead of thinking how I was missing out with all the family "things", which the media tells us was so wonderful. I started using this as my way to cope. On Thanksgiving, it didn't matter if I didn't have anywhere to go. It didn't matter if I ate taco salad for my dinner. What made it a great day was because I was getting paid for it.

So, the morale to this is chose a different path and try to see things differently as it might change the outcome.

With this said, "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy Day Off With Pay!"

Breakdown

I am having a Christmas breakdown. The thought of all the money I spent. Also I have been out of my medication for a couple days. It is cold and wet here. It is suppose to snow, rain or sleet. No one can say for sure. This causes anxiety...what if I get stuck in the house and can't get out? My computer cord is not working..I don't know what the problem is so anytime, my laptop is going to go because it is working off of the battery. This means I could be without contact with the world. AAHH! Oh well, no one is sick in my family so things could be worse I suppose...well, we all know someone worse off than we are so I am trying to pull myself up and out of my funk. But...sometimes sleeping the day away is good therapy for me...so I say, "Good night."

Party To Go To

Tonight is my Christmas Party for work. I have to go since I planned the darn thing.

Make A Bag

Started to do some creative gift wrapping this week. I made this bag out of a small lunch like sack bag. Kind a cute but I probabley will not use it. I like wrapping presents versus using bags but thought it might be fun to dress up some plan bags. I did another bag where I put white balls all over the bag. It turned out really cute too but it is in my car with a gift in it already. I was to meet a friend for lunch this week but she canned me until next week. I just didn't bring it back in to take a picture of it. Maybe I will remember to do it this weekend.

Turn Around? It's A Matter Of Time...

Hard to believe...Employee has done a 180 degree turn. Now, employee still comes in every day with some kind of illness, but employee is on time and is working! Now, how long employee can continue to go without missing a day I can't say. Employee today did instant message me to say, "I am feeling sick, I would like to go lay down in my car for a few minutes." My reply, "Clock out while you are gone." Employee wasn't gone 10 minutes. (I think the clock out must have done it for her). Employee must have really started felling better after employee left an hour later, employee called me from the mall where employee was shopping. Hum...