I was broken down today. I let all the negative people get to me and I ended up crying. I sure wish it didn't bother me but hateful and mean people really do suck, just like the bumper sticker reads. The practice administrator called me into her office to talk and kept prying and asking questions and finally I cried. She reminded me that her office was a safe place and she hugged me. She said one of the nurses talked to her and said she felt really really bad about things. The nurse told her I was the most positive person she had ever met and yet it only took right over a month for me to get down. Isn't that just pitiful? My heart just isn't singing but I want it to sing so badly. I want to love my job and feel good about what I am doing but I am not and I don't know what to do to change the situation. I don't want to quit. The organization I work has wonderful benefits and I know that it could be a really great place....I am really working on not letting all the negative affect me but a lot of it is directed straight at me. You see, the person who actually gave her notice and then was let go before her notice was up had a lot of negative friends who still work there. The practice administrator has given me many of her responsibilities and has moved me into her desk space...some of girls who have worked there for awhile are really upset because I have access to things, which they do not....so who do they take their frustration out on??? Yep, me. It isn't anything, which I can run and tell (nor would I) it is just petty stuff and they are trying to get "at me" with their sly comments. I just do my best to ignore or pretend I have no idea what is going on...I sure hope it gets better soon. I see another batch of meanness coming soon because the entire negative gang (including the one who was let go) is getting together next weekend. I don't think I will get much relief for at least another 30 days or so until it all dies down again. I keep praying for my strength and not to let it bother me so much...but I am an emotional girl who wears her heart on her sleeve....I am also not used to this kind of stuff in the workplace.
I want my heart to sing again. I get so much joy and pride from my work and things have to get better soon! It just has to!!
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This sounds little like my relationship with my MIL. She never liked me, didn't think I was good enough for her son, etc... She used to say hateful things behnd my back to everyone in the family....her siblings, her kids, the other DIL's, Scott.
I just kept being me and doing what I want and trying to be my good hearted self in spite of her ugliness. Now the whole family sees her for what she is and the other know that I am sweetness and joy while she was so mean and petty and vindictive.
I have no advice, just live your life right and eventually karma will bite them all in the ass. Ignore pettyness and do the right thing. It is hard, but you have to do it. Keep your head up and it will all solve itself soon.
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